The Onion

• Trump Appoints Self To Divine Muses
  December 30, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• George Clooney, 1,000 Paparazzi Granted French Citizenship
  December 30, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Bloated Nation Struggling To Work Way Through Leftover Rijstevlaai
  December 30, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• To Cirrhosis With Love
  December 30, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Disney Licenses Characters For Use On OpenAI Video Generator
  December 29, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head
  December 29, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax 
  December 29, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes
  December 29, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map
  December 29, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Usha Vance Forces Smile After Unwrapping Another Bible For Christmas
  December 25, 2025 by The Onion Staff

Islamica News

• Netanyahu Flees Police In Boxers After ICC Issues Arrest Warrant
  May 20, 2024
• Israeli Settler Arrives At College Gaza Protest Encampment, Steals Tent, Moves In
  April 24, 2024
• Saudi Arabia To Participate In Miss Universe By Sending Model’s Male Guardian
  April 1, 2024

Reductress

• Relatable! Stocking Hanging On by a Thread
  December 22, 2025 by Steph Westendorf
• Entire Family in Agreement on Colin Firth
  December 22, 2025 by Hannah Benson
• How to Find Joy This Holiday Season Even Though You Can’t Circle What You Want in an American Girl Catalog
  December 22, 2025 by Emma Demorest
• Cousin’s New Boyfriend Excited to Debut Conflicting, Incomprehensible Political Beliefs at Christmas Dinner
  December 22, 2025 by Isabella Reish
• Wow! ChatGPT Founder Can’t Imagine Raising a Newborn Without ChatGPT or a Billion Dollars
  December 19, 2025 by Alyson D'Lando
• REPORT: Fun Thing Now Causes Headache
  December 19, 2025 by Lisa Corn
• Butterflies in Stomach Actually Expired Ham
  December 19, 2025 by Emily Zauzmer
• Flirty Barista Still Trying to Figure Out How to Write Phone Number in Cold Foam
  December 19, 2025 by Kevin Burke
• Yay! Friend Lacking Full Context Says You’re in the Right
  December 18, 2025 by Madeline Goetz
• Bottom? This Woman Likes Receiving Gifts More Than Giving
  December 18, 2025 by Lisa Zheutlin

The Hard Times

• Woody Guthrie’s Guitar Detained by Masked Federal Agents
  January 1, 2026 by Patrick Coyne
• Opinion: Hockey Is Moshing
  January 1, 2026 by Steve Packosky
• Promised Slow Descent Into Fascism Picks Up an Alarming Amount of Speed
  January 1, 2026 by Tim Sheard
• Trump Is Boasting About an Alleged Land Strike in Venezuela — Here’s Why He Is Still a Pedophile
  December 30, 2025 by Dan Rice
• Airbnb Checkout Instructions Include Reupholstering, Drywall Repair
  December 30, 2025 by Ryan Dondero

The Beaverton

• Bagel Bites continue to outsell Bagel Chewed
  December 31, 2025 by Alex Brault
• Hockey fans rip into Team Canada’s Olympic roster before sitting down to read it
  December 31, 2025 by Mark Hill
• Report: Three ghosts took Pierre Poilievre on spiritual journey through time to no effect
  December 31, 2025 by John Hansen
• Jeff Bezos puts hit out on “socialist” Santa Claus
  December 30, 2025 by Geoff Cork
• Canada names Mark Carney ‘2025 Man Of The Year Unless Anyone Better Comes Along’
  December 30, 2025 by Ian MacIntyre