The Onion

• Quentin Tarantino Slams Paul Dano As Worst Actor On Wikifeet
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Malaysia Bans Social Media For Children Under 16
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Japanese Company Unveils Human Washing Machine
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Pete Hegseth Invokes ‘Fog Of War’ After Pissing In Break Room Refrigerator
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Reyna Cobb and Luke Butler
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Vatican Formally Recognizes First Gen Z Demon
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Pros And Cons Of War With Venezuela
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• I’d Sooner Let My Family Starve Than Exaggerate My Marketing  Experience On My Resume
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• ‘Marty Supreme’ Director Explains Film Slight Dramatization Of Real-Life LeBron James
  December 5, 2025 by The Onion Staff
• Kristi Noem Places Pushpin In Bespoke Map Of Every Place She’s Deported Someone To
  December 4, 2025 by The Onion Staff

Islamica News

• Netanyahu Flees Police In Boxers After ICC Issues Arrest Warrant
  May 20, 2024
• Israeli Settler Arrives At College Gaza Protest Encampment, Steals Tent, Moves In
  April 24, 2024
• Saudi Arabia To Participate In Miss Universe By Sending Model’s Male Guardian
  April 1, 2024

Reductress

• Nation’s Horny Meteorologists Report It’s Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together With You
  December 5, 2025 by Emily Zauzmer
• ‘It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!’ Says Woman Totally Forgetting About Times It’s Warm
  December 5, 2025 by Emily Zauzmer
• States Considering Social Media Ban for Minors and One Friend Each of Us Gets to Select
  December 5, 2025 by Alyson D'Lando
• Push-Up More Push Than Up
  December 5, 2025 by Emily Zauzmer
• How to Enjoy His Company Even Though He Tastes Nothing Like Peppermint Bark
  December 4, 2025 by Hannah Benson
• ‘Women’s Bodies Are So Incredible,’ Says Friend Talking About Birth but Also Boobs
  December 4, 2025 by Hannah Benson
• Woman Who Resists Daily Urge to Quit Job Resigns Herself to Loud Sighing at Desk Instead
  December 4, 2025 by Steph Westendorf
• Amazing! This Woman Asked a Question Without Degrading Herself Completely
  December 3, 2025 by Rebecca Weiser
• Woman’s Holiday Break Schedule Resembles That of Elderly Cat
  December 3, 2025 by Annaka Saari
• Crisis Averted! Successful Peer Is Two Years Older Than You
  December 3, 2025 by Emma Demorest

The Hard Times

• “Enter Sandman” Voted Best Metallica Song by Random Drunk Dipshits at the Bar
  December 7, 2025 by Steve Packosky
• Help! My MAGA Relatives Are So Red Pilled They Think I like the Democrats
  December 7, 2025 by Ryan Darrah
• Pathetic Loser Thinks Son is His Best Friend
  December 7, 2025 by Doug Kolic
• Still Got It! Surviving Members of “Rumours” Era Fleetwood Mac Lineup Announce Plans for 50th Anniversary Orgy
  December 6, 2025 by Kyle Donley
• RFK Jr. Proposes Ban on Medication That Prevents Psychobilly Freakouts
  December 6, 2025 by Bill Conway

The Beaverton

• New Stranger Things season draws on nostalgia for 2016 when it was good
  December 5, 2025 by Staff
• Poilievre asks BC Conservative leader for tips on just refusing to leave
  December 4, 2025 by John Hansen
• Quebec legislators brainstorming ideas for which religion to scapegoat next
  December 4, 2025 by Luke Gordon Field
• White House astonished as Pete Hegseth reads Franklin book all by himself
  December 3, 2025 by Tristan Bradley
• PEI waiting for someone to notice they voted to separate from Canada in 2019
  December 2, 2025 by Vinny Francois